


Runaway

by Waywardmermaid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Feels, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 11:18:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2267745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waywardmermaid/pseuds/Waywardmermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader hasn't seen the boys since dean got back from hell but just because you avoid someone doesn't mean the feelings go away...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Desperation

As rough days go, this wasnt on the top of the list as the worst, but it was somewhere up there. When you reached your car you took off your jacket to reveal four perfect slash marks and blood… a lot of blood. You muttered something along the lines of “stupid werewolves and their stupid werewolf claws.” This particular hunt was especially exhausting, you had chased a pack of werewolves across four states slowly picking them off befor you found the last one in kansas. The alpha. And he made sure he got a piece of you before you got him. You thought you were tracking him through the woods, however in this case, the hunter became the hunted. He came out of no where and all you could feel was the burning pain in your back as you hit the ground. You rolled quickly drawing your gun, he lunged but not before you fired, your silver bullet hitting its intended mark. However you weren't planning on the bastard falling on top of you, adding insult to injury. When you finally managed to push him off you stood up, gazing down at him. He had returned to human form. "Rot in hell you monster." You quickly averted your eyes and headed for your car. It was dark you were tired and you could feel your blood running down your back. When you got to car you took off your jacket revealing what you knew to be true. You opened the trunk and rummaged through your duffel bag, finally pulling out a towel. You zipped the bag back up and closed the trunk. You threw the towel over your seat (because you were not going to add the insult of staining your seats to the list of things that had gone wrong today. This was a 69’ mustang and she deserved some respect.) and gently slid into the car. It was late and the excruciating pain radiating off your back paired with exhaustion was driving you over the edge. You couldn't even remember the last time you slept for more than three hours. “Shit”. You didn't want to go to the hospital what would you tell them? “oh i was walking in the woods, at night, by myself, and there was this bear but it only scratched me?” you also didn't want to spend the few days you knew you'd need to recover in some ghetto motel in kansas. You reached for your phone and started scrolling through your numbers when you landed on Deans. You hadn't seen the boys since Dean had got back from hell. You were keeping your distance. Distance kept you safe, it kept the feelings at bay. But right now, the boys seemed like the best option you had. You hit the send button on your phone, with each ring your anxiety grew until a familiar voice came on the other end-

“hello?”

It was Sam. 

“ Hey Sam. im sorry for calling so late.”

“(y/n)? is that you?”

“ Ya its me.”

“It's been a while, a long while. whats up?”

“I know im sorry and i hate to call you like this and be a pain in your ass but i found myself on the wrong side of a werewolf and it got a pretty good piece of me befor i got it.”

He laughed “ you're not a pain in the ass. besides it would be nice to catch up. where are you?”

“I'm just outside of wichita kansas.”

“ Really? That's funny, you're only three hours away from us, were in lebanon. I'll text you directions ok?’

“Thanks so much Sam. and don't take it wrong i'm happy to hear from you, but where's Dean? I called his phone.”

“Long story we'll talk when you get here k?”

You said your goodbyes with Sam and waited for his text when you got off the phone. When you got his directions you hopped on hwy 135 and started the haul to lebanon. You couldn't help but grin to yourself, you were excited to see the boys again. You turned up the radio, hit the gas and drove, letting your thoughts wander as your hair waved around in the wind.


	2. Secerets don't make friends

You were pulling up a gravel road, the only thing in sight was some abandoned looking building. “ what the hell? this cant be right.” you pulled out your phone and called sam back.

“Hey where are you?"

“ Did you give me directions to a haunted house or what because i followed your directions to the T but i'm sitting in front of some creepy building.”

He laughed “ no you're in the right place. I'll come out and get you.”

You turned the car off and rolled up your window. You opened your door and tried to get out but at this point the towel was sticking to your back with your dried blood and you weren't about to rip it off. you leaned back in your seat wrapping the sides of the towel around your sides.

“ Need some help?”

You about jumped out of your skin, but when you looked up Sam was standing there smiling down at you.

“ Help would be great.” you smiled back. You extended your arm out to his wincing as the elevated height pulled at the scabbed healing to towel process your back was in. Sam reached out and grabbed you at the elbow and plucked you out of the car.

When you were finally standing Sam gently pulled you into a hug.

"Its nice seeing you again. you really shouldn't disappear like that."

You smiled into his chest. When dean was in hell you kept an eye on sam from a distance. There wasn't a lot you could do, he didn't want anyone to know where he was and he didn't want help from anyone. And Bobby, well he wasn't much better. Honestly neither were you. But you kept tabs on Sam and Bobby and held yourself together as best as you could. When Dean came back from hell you rushed to Bobbys to see him again. They were trying to figure out what in the world could have pulled him from hell. You came up with some ridiculous reason to leave, said you had a job you needed to finish. Dean and Sam needed each other, they needed to do this together. They didn't need you. Regardless of weather you needed them or not. So as if on cue, you gracefully bowed out taking your leave before you could get anymore involved then you had to be. 

“I know im sorry, its been too long.”

“Well lets get inside and see if we can't get you patched up huh? then we can catch up.” 

Releasing you from the hug but keeping an arm around you to keep you steady, he helped you down the stairs to a metal door. When you walked inside your mouth hit the floor.

“What is this place?" you gasped.

"It's the men of letters bunker. A long time ago there was a secret organization who researched the supernatural, this is every piece of information they collected for thousands of years on every single creature you can think of and some you couldn't even imagine. Its also warded against every single evil thing that exists so its literally the safest place to be .”

“It's beautiful” you whispered.

“ Well if shock hasn't set in i think i just did. We should get that back taken care of , it looks like you've lost a lot of blood and i can't have you passing out one me.” he smiled.

You noded your head and followed sam through the bunker taking everything in. It was beautiful in its own right. Like a piece of history you could touch, feel. You followed sam into a room with a cot and a counter with all sorts of instruments you had no intention of being introduced to. 

“Are you bandaging me up or putting me under for surgery?" you joked.

“ Always a funny one you." just lay down.

"And always a bossy one you." you chided.

He laughed "do you want me to fix you or not?"

All you could do was laugh at the irony of that comment "ok ok i'll cooperate."

You layed down on the cot about as gracefully as a white person running away in a horror movie. 

“Ok just put your arms at your sides, i'm going to got get a few things i'll be right back ok?

"Ok ill be here."

You scanned the room it looked like a makeshift-a very makeshift surgery of sorts. It had a little island with a sink, some drawers, a couple chairs, a little table by your cot. It felt so nice to lie down, even on a uncomfortable cot with your back throbbing, this was way better then any motel. Sam quickly returned with some towels, a bottle of whisky and a wadded up shirt. 

“Here” he placed the wadded up shirt under you head for a makeshift pillow. You took a deep breath and tried to relax, but that scent, you knew that smell...it was dean. This was deans shirt.

“ Im sure your brothers going to be thrilled you're using his clothes for medical purposes” you chuckled.

Sam smiled back “well he's not here to do anything about it is he? Besides were gonna have to cut this one off you so you'll need a shirt and i'm pretty sure mine would go to down to your ankles” he joked.

“Fair enough doc.” He went over to the sink and wetted the towels when he returned he sat by your side.

“This is gonna hurt but i don't really wanna rip this towel off ok?"

"Ok...let's get this over with."

Sam gently placed the warm wet towels on your back, you hissed through your teeth at the pain, it was bearable, but it still wasn't pleasant. Sam noticed your discomfort “sorry” he winced.

"No no its ok, im more comfortable with you doing it then some doctor with unnaturally cold hands" you smiled.

"Ok well just let those sit" he got up and started rummaging through a draw. He returned with some scissors and a needle and thread sitting them on the table by the cot. He also grabbed the whisky and sat it next to its medical counterparts. 

“ Ok lets see if it'll peel of now.”

He removed the wet towels tossing them into a hamper by the door. 

“ Why did you wrap yourself in a towel anyways. Its not like it put any pressure on it or anything?”

“I didnt want to get blood on my seat.” you retaliated

“I dont know who is worse Dean and the impala or you and your mustang.” he said through a smile.

You went to sass him back but felt him pulling at the towel on your back and lost your train of thought, bracing yourself for the pain that you were so sure was about to come. However he gingerly peeled the towel off your back with no fuss and threw it into the hamper with the others.

“There, not so bad. Now lets cut this off” he grabbed the scissors and cut your shirt open pausing before he cut like the smallest piece of fabric ever that was somehow managing to hold your bra together.

You closed your eyes you could feel him examining the situation at hand he quickly grabbed a water bottle and poured it over your back rinsing out the would. Then all of a sudden the water turned to fire. Your eyes shot open “ SON OF A BITCH! WHAT WAS THAT!” you looked over to sam holding the bottle of whisky now instead of the bottle of water smirking.

“ Well the worst parts over now we just have to stitch you up.” 

You shot him a glare but a smile quickly followed.

“I see what you did there, smooth move sammy" You replied laying you head back down. Sam began the precarious task of stitching up the claw marks, you were trying your best to keep your mind off it but to no avail.

"So you never told me where dean was?" 

"He's with Cas, they're trying to find kevin." 

"Who's Cas?" You asked sounding as confused as you felt.

"He's an angel of the lord." He sarcastically responded. 

"I think I lost more blood than I thought. Did you say angel?"

"Ya."

"Like wings, halo, say your prayers before you go to bed angel?"

"Well not exactly. There's no halo, he has wings but you can't see them unless he shows them. And I don't know about praying before bed but if you pray for him to show up, he will...if he feels like it." 

"Where did he come from?" 

He's what pulled dean outta hell. We had one of bobbys psychic friends summon him. Melted the eyes right out of her head but we got a name. Castiel. So dean and bobby summoned him later, when he showed he zapped bobby to sleep. And when dean asked him why he brought him back he said god has a plan for him. He said lilith was breaking the seals to open up hell and let lucifer free and we had to stop it. its been one thing after another. I got trapped in hell and lost my soul, dean got sucked into purgatory, and now trying to seal the gates of hell. 

Lilith, a name you recognized. But angels? GOD? purgatory? 

There was a long silence. You mind was racing trying to comprehend everything sam had just told you.

"You're done."

It took you a minute to snap out of your thoughts. "What?"

" I said you're good to go" he repeated through a laugh. "Its a lot to take in I know. Here let me help you." He got up and snagged deans shirt opening it up he closed his eyes. You slowly climbed out of your cot walked over and put you arms through the sleeves. You fumbled for a few minutes with all the buttons but you managed. 

" You can open them now sam, thank you." 

"You know, you'd know all this if you didn't bail." His eyes boring holes straight through you.

You sighed. " I know I messed up, but when dean died, we were all a mess, you especially. I followed you for months before I lost you. And bobby wasn't much better. But when he came back... I don't know it was great seeing you guys, but you needed each other. You didn't need me in the middle of that. You guys were trying to figure out why he came back together. And that's how it should be. You need each other, not each other plus one."

"You followed me?"

You chuckled. "Ya it was a good three months before you gave me the slip. I knew you wouldn't want me with you. You didn't want anyone with you. We were all trying to work things out, but we all wanted to do it on our own. But I worried about you."

"And what about when bobby died?"

“ I was devastated when I heard the news sam. Bobby was the only dad I ever knew." You were choking back tears. " But I thought it best if I just stayed away, you know how it is in our line of work, people you love get hurt, and I don't want to be responsible for someone's death. And honestly I couldn't deal with losing another one of you again. The tears began flowing freely now. Sam grabbed you and pulled you into a hug, holding you.

"(Y/n) your not a hindrance to us. You hold your own, anyone with you on their side is lucky. Besides we're your family. We make our own choices. But were here for eachother, I think you know that or you wouldn't have come tonight....Dean thought it was him. He thought he made you uncomfortable with the whole rising from the dead thing. He took it pretty hard."

"I'm so sorry sam" you squeaked. 

"You're here now. Just promise when we wake up in the morning you won't be gone ok." He laughed you released each other. 

"We should get you some pain meds, you look like you haven't slept for days. We can finish catching up in the morning k?"

He walked over to one of the drawers and pulled out a bottle opening it to retrieve three white tablets. 

"These are pretty strong, they should knock you out." He said handing them to you. "Those gashs are pretty wide though. We need to keep an eye on those stitches and make sure they don't rip. I would suggest sleeping on your stomach without a shirt on and letting them get some air." He smiled. 

"Thanks sam. I should get my bag outta my car. I'm sure your brother will want his shirt back." 

"Don't worry about it, I'll grab it, you need some sleep. I'll take you to your room." He put his hand on the small of you back and led you out of the so called surgery and back down the hall. 

"A room of my very own! I've always wanted one! How did you now!?" you sarcastically cheered.

"Haha! Well its here whenever you want it." 

You passed sams room, turned a corner passed deans room and across the hall from him was your room. Sam opened the door and you walked in. It was quaint, but home-like in its own right. A simple double bed, nightstands with lamps, a desk and a dresser. As you were gazing around your new room sam spoke up-

"So werewolves huh?" 

"Ya I chased them over for states in the last five days before I ended up in wichita." 

"Seems like a lot of footwork for werewolves." 

You glared up at him " a lifes a life sam, if they can't stay away from humans they have no right to be breathing the same air as me." 

"No you right, I'm just saying that's a lot of work for a single pack of wolves. Anyways I'll grab your stuff, if you need anything holler. Dean should be back soon, but get some rest ok? You need as much as you can get so that back of yours doesn't get infected." 

You brushed off his wolf comment chalking it up to lack of sleep. 

"Thanks for everything sam." You gave him a hug.

Anytime, now get a good night's sleep ok? He kissed the top of your head and strolled out. You watched him walk down the hall, closing the door when he rounded the corner. You kicked off your boots and took off your socks and jeans leaving nothing but your boy shorts and deans shirt. You folded your jeans and rolled up your socks placing the on top of the dresser. You walked over to the bed and drew down the covers. You felt pretty warm figuring you wouldn't need them you folded them to the bottom of the bed. You sat down and started fumbling with the buttons of deans shirt. Once you got them undone you reached into the breast pocket and drew out the pills sam gave you. You threw them back and worked up enough saliva to make sure they made it down. You took off deans shirt, bringing it instead around to cover your chest. It was a lot easier to put the damn thing on backwards that's for sure. At least this way if one of the boys walked in you had all your bases covered. You layed on your stomach, sprawling your legs out. You wrapped your arms around the pillow and before you even had time to take a breath, you were out cold. Whatever sam gave you had done its job.


	3. Not again

"Where is she?!" Dean yelled storming through the door. Sam looked up from the book he was reading. "I know she's here I saw her car." 

"She's sleeping, her back got tore up by a werewolf, I stitched her up and gave her some pain pills."

"Is she okay?" Dean demanded. Cas had finally came in and closed the door. 

"What are you yelling about?"

"Mind your own business cas! Sam, is she ok?" 

"Ya she'll heal. But she's not telling me everything. Somethings wrong. There's something about her story that doesn't check out." 

Dean walked over to sam, throwing a grocery bag on the table and grabbing a beer out of it. "Like what" he said twisting the cap off.

" Well for starters she chased a pack of werewolves across four states for the last week. That's a lot of work for some wolves dean. Not to mention she says she stayed away to keep us safe, like she didn't want to be the reason something happened to us. You know her, if she wants to say gone, she'll stay gone. So why come back now? That wound could have been treated at a hospital with a easy cover story, I just don't get it." 

"So the wounds not that bad?"

"Well its not great, but it won't kill her."

"What room is she in?"

"The one next to yours." 

"Cas can you heal her?"

"Its none of my business but yes. I can also look into her memories and see what brought her here if you wish it." 

"Guys I don't think we should hack her mind." Sam said defensively. 

"It was only a suggestion." Cas retorted.

Dean smirked over his beer, " no that's exactly what we should do. C'mon cas." Dean strolled towards the hall cas not far behind. Sam shook his head and resumed reading his book. 

"I'm staying out of this."

Dean opened the door and peered inside. He walked over to the bed looking over your body. You had gotten thinner, and you finally had hips he smirked. You hair was also long, you had let it grow out until in probably reached your butt he decided. He looked over your clawed back, it was starting to bruise. He looked you at your face, brushing your hair out of the way behind your ear. He noticed the back circles under your eyes, and was that his shirt? It was. He walked down and pulled the covers over your body and waived cas in. Cas strode to the side of the bed placing his hand on your forehead. After a couple minutes it was done. Cas nodded at dean letting him now they had got what they came for and strode out. Dean covered you the rest of the way now that your back was normal once more. You shifted in your sleep, rolling to your side and pulling the blankets up to your face. Dean brushed your hair out of your face once more. Noticing your bracelets. One a simple leather band with a silver coin, he recognized immediately. You had that one when you first met. The other a beautiful silver chain and matching silver coin. He lifted the coins to see them better. “Sorella?”  
He shrugged it off turning to leave he looked back at you, still not believing you were here. "Welcome home sunshine" he whispered before shutting the door. He walked out to the living room meeting sam and cas, both with a somber expression on their face.

"And?"

"The werewolves. I think they killed someone close to her. Do you know of any casey girl?"

"No but that would make sense for her being hell bent on killing them. Revenge."

"She's scared she feels like she's losing everyone she cares about. This casey girl, they were close, but they hadn't spoken recently. The wolves ripped her heart out. That's all I got." 

"See sammy, she's not hiding anything crazy, she's upset."

"I'm being summoned, I must go." *****cas disappears*****

"Man that creeps me out" dean laughed over his beer. 

"Well its like two AM I'm going to bed, can you grab her bag out of her trunk?" Sam pleaded. 

"Ya I'll get it, get your ass to bed, you look like hell." Dean chuckled.

"Whatever jerk, night."

Dean grabbed your keys off the counter and headed for your car. He smiled when the blue mustang came into view. When he popped the trunk open he grabbed you duffle noticing a small shoebox. He figured since he just had a angel ninja your mind, this seemed pretty miniscule. He opened the box there were notes and pictures. They were of you and some brunette girl. He grabbed one of the letters. 

(Y/n),   
I don't understand what you're saying? Why do you have to leave and who is this bobby man? Is he a relative?  
Let's go get coffee at lunch. You need to explain yourself. 

P.s. your also buying I'm broke. Xoxo

-casey 

Dean looked at the date. That was years ago. You would have been a junior in highschool. That was the year your dad died, and you went to live with bobby since you had no living family. You mom had died during childbirth. Leaving you and your dad. And since your dad was always out of town hunting, he always pawned you off on the neighbors, who had a daughter the same age. Dean furrowed his brows. He whipped out his phone and googled "sorella". When the results popped up he cursed himself. Sorella-italian-sister. Dean knew what he'd would do if he lost sam. What he did do. What you were undoubtedly planning on doing. Dean returned the box to where he found it, closing the trunk. He picked up you bag and headed for the bunker. He put your bag in your room, but kept your keys. If you planned on leaving, you'd have to go through him first. He strode over to his own room leaving the door cracked in case you woke up before him. He stripped down to his boxets and climbed into bed, thinking of ways to talk you out of making the worst decision of your life. He didnt want to lose you again...they just got you back.


	4. Chapter 4

You awoke the next morning around eleven. You sat up stretching your arms out. Immediately recognizing this as a mistake, your stitches, you couldn't feel them. Apparently whatever sam had gave you was indeed strong, you'd have to be extra careful not to rip them. You slid deans shirt back around. Fastening the stupid buttons once more, you slid out of bed and straightened the comforter. You glanced over your room noticing your duffle bag by the dresser. You sauntered over and started rummaging through the bag for some fresh clothes. "God I need to do laundry" you mumbled finally settling on some jeans and a black tank top. You needed a shower, the boys should be up to steer you in the direction of a bathroom. When you opened your door you glanced across the hall immediately noticing deans bedroom...the door was cracked open. You tiptoed over peering inside. Dean was sprawled across the bed, his arm draped across a pillow. He looked good. His boyish qualities were now more masculine, chiseled. You smiled to yourself, the feeling of butterflies returning to your stomach. He was the only guy you had ever come across in your life that could do that, utterly unnerve you, make you feel things that you struggled to bury on a daily basis. You gently closed the door and proceeded down the hall. You were playing with fire. A fire that could ultimately consume you. When you reached the living room you noticed sam slouched over a book on the table. You hadn't realized it before, but he wasn't looking so hot. He was pale, a pained expression on his face, and the black rings around his eyes you recognized so well from your own reflection. 

"Morning sam." You smiled.

He looked up smiling " heeey how'd you sleep, your looking better this morning."

"I don't know what you gave me, but I slept like a rock, and my back still doesn't hurt."

"Good. You needed it."

Something was off. He was tip-toeing around something, you just couldn't put your finger on it....

"What about you? You look a little drained. You ok?" 

"Ya I just stayed up waiting for dean. Last week we... I, did the first trial, kinda drained me a little I haven't had much time to catch up on sleep, but I'm fine. Is there a reason you're walking around with a arm full of clothes?" He chuckled.

"Ya, I'm looking for a shower" you smiled.

"Ah go down that hall, it'll be on your left."

"Thanks."

You scoffed off down the hall looking for the door in question. When you arrived you sat your clothes on the counter looking in the mirror. Your hair looked like you just walked through a tornado. You unbuttoned deans shirt setting it on the counter, turning to inspect your back. "What in the hell?!" It was gone..... you wrapped deans shirt around your chest throwing the door open and bolting back up the hall.

"Sam! Its gone, what the hell did you give me?!" 

Sam looked up laughing " sorry when dean and cas got back last night, cas healed you." 

"With what?!"

"Um his angel power I guess?" 

You sighed " when I get out of the shower and get dressed we need to talk, this whole angel healing, heaven/hell, trials, I just.... I can't even....."

You trailed off mumbling down the hall back to the bathroom.

Sam heard the shower come on and sighed. He couldn't take his mind off the trials, what dean had said about being a grunt, about the pain (y/n) must be going through. It seemed like all of you were all grasping for what little family you had left. 

"Well you look like shit" dean chided walking into the room.

"Tired that's all." Sam responded through a glare.

Where's (y/n)?"

"Shower."

"Look man, you took the reins on this whole trial thing, even after I told you no. You said you wanted to live through it right? Well walking around like a zombie isn't helping. Kevin will call when he figures out the second trial, now get your nose out of that damn book and go back to bed."

"Fine, but dean, talk to her, please...."

"Oh, I'll talk to her alright" he retorted sitting down and crossing his legs on top of the table.

Sam retreated to his room. He would have argued normally, but you and dean needed to hash out whatever was going on between you two, and he really didn't want to be in the middle of that discussion. Or anywhere near it. 

Dean sat in his chair, playing out his argument in his head, staring at the clock. " jesus did she drown?" Dean sat up in his chair drumming his hands on the table, when the table vibrated he paused looking around. A phone. But not his or sammys. He reached out and grabbed it. LOW BATTERY flashed across the screen. "Hmmm, might as well be three for three." He opened up your messages. Caseys name catching his attention right away. He clicked on it-

Please answer! somethings going on... I need you.

The shower turned off. Dean closed your phone and slid it back across the table, running his hands over his face. "Please let me be enough." He mumbled.

You turned the corner of the hall "so where were we-

You looked up to see deans face instead of sam. His green eyes never leaving yours. 

 

"Why don't we start with where you've been for the last six years?"


	5. Chapter 5

You were frozen. Words failed you as deans eyes pierced yours. You shouldn't have come, you should have just kept on driving, you knew that now. Seeing him was like ripping open an old wound. 

"Well?"

You snapped out of your thoughts. 

"I'm sorry. There's nothing I can say to justify it dean. I thought it would just be better that way."

"Look" he sneered, " I'm real sick of everybody lying to me, and I expect it from cas, hell even from sam, but not from you. Whatever's happened between us, we never lied to each other. So cut the crap." 

You walked over and sat down across from dean. 

"The truth is pretty irrelevant now."

"Really? Is your soul irrelevant too?"

"Well if the pot isn't calling the kettle black. Nosey are we?"

"Well you haven't exactly been forthcoming." He chided.

"Fair enough, what exactly do you want from me dean? Because I could ramble on and on about where I've been, but I don't think that's the information you're looking for is it?"

He reached across the table grabbing your wrist, twirling your bracelets with his other hand.

"What happened to her?" 

You looked at the braclets. Yours, a leather band, worn and marred with years of abuse. Hers, the beautiful silver chain looking as if it was purchased yesterday. And the two coins. Your junior year of high school you both had taken italian. And it was the only word you could remember to this day. Sorella...sister. She had gave it to you before you went to bobby's all those years ago....

"She's gone." You choked out. 

"Werewolves?" He questioned, his expression softening. 

"Ya. She text me a week ago saying something wasn't right, she needed me... I got there just in time to see them rip her heart out, but not in time to save her. Her blood is on my hands, this is my fault. 

Dean looked you over your eyes were beginning to cloud with tears. 

"(Y/n) , sometimes things are just out of our con-"

"Stop. I know what you going to say alright. But she'd still be alive if it wasn't for me. When you died everyone lost it dean, including me. So I drove back there and saw her. I was falling apart and I needed her. I was selfish. I stayed for a week before I went to look for sam, when I left I gave her my number. We stayed in touch for quite a while. A few weeks ago I managed to piss off some werewolves, and as if that wasn't bad enough they were purebloods. They found my weakness and they took it. I assume I ended up here because you and sam were next. But casey, that's all on me. I should have never gotten her involved in all this. She shouldn't have died my collateral damage."

"And you think bringing her back is going to make her any safer than she was befor? You think selling your soul is the answer to all of this?"

You gently squeezed his hand.

"Dean, I'm tired. I'm tired of this life and losing everything I love. Its not in me to see another person I care about die. Besides she'll be safe if I'm not here. I don't need ten years, I just need her alive. I have faith that if she ever needed help, you and sam would be there." 

"I'm not going to let you do this. Do you know how ridiculous you sound? You don't want to be in hell (y/n) trust me on that, I'm the one that's actually been there. Besides what about me and sam? Did you ever stop and think how we'd feel about this? Or what about bobby, what do you think he'd say?"

"Really!? Tell me dean did you stop and ask yourself these same questions when you did it?! No? I didn't think so. You have no right to sit there and tell me what I'm supposed to think or feel or do. As for you and sam you've done just fine without me these past 6 years how is this any different?"

You got up to take your leave, as you were walking towards the hall dean shouted 

"What if I asked you to stay? What if I told you I cared about you and I didn't want you to do this?"

You stopped not turning back because the tears on your face were a telltale sign to your real feelings.

"Id say I care about you too, but id ask you to step back and look at our lives and realize it would never work. I'd also say that if you cared for me at all, you'd except my goodbye."

You quickly headed down the hall to gather yourself and your things. You couldn't stay here any longer. Not if you were going to carry out what every fiber in your body was telling you to do.


	6. Chapter 6

It was three o'clock before you had gotten everything together. You had left the boys a note leaving what few possessions you carried to them, and warning that if they didn't take good care of your car, you would haunt the hell out of them. You signed off by telling them you loved them and to take care of each other. You walked over to sams room peering inside, he was asleep. You walked over and kissed his forehead. "Bye sammy" you whispered. You walked out to find dean figuring he was the reason you couldn't find your keys.   
When you reached the foyer of the bunker it was empty. Your keys sat atop a folded piece of paper. You opened it up. 

I'm sorry but I can't do what you're asking me  
-Dean

It cut like a knife. But you knew what you were asking, and if the roles were reversed you would have reacted the same way. It was after all why you had stayed away. Both of them so ready to sacrifice their lives. You couldn't do it again. You grabbed your keys and headed out to your car. About an hour away was a crossroads conveniently located next to a bar, and you had a date with death. 

When you reached your car you slid in rummaging through your tapes and finally popped one in. You put the bunker in the rearview and hummed along to dust in the wind as your 429 hummed a tune of its own and carried you away to your fate.


	7. Chapter 7

You pulled into the bar just in time for happy hour. The parking lot was full, people were stumbling about the place happy the work week was over. You sat in you car watching. You finally pulled your keys out of the ignition. You reached over and opened your glove box. There was a envelope from caseys lawyer stating what she had left you, what you'd leave to the boys. You grabbed it and headed for the bar. You may be going to hell, but you didn't plan on doing it sober. 

When you walked inside the jukebox was blaring, all the usuals stared up at the new girl in town. You strutted over to the bartender, "whisky on the rocks please. Leave the bottle." You sat on the stool, opening the envelope. She left you everything . It made since. After she lost her parents and her finance in iraq, you were all she had. The bartender arrived sliding your glass in front of you and placing the bottle next to it.   
"Thanks" you said downing it.

"Rough day sweetheart?"

"You could say" you said back flashing him a smile.

When he left you dumped the rest of the manilla envelope onto the bar. To envelopes fell in front of you. Caseys handwriting flowing across the front of both. The first one read "if it's natural" the second " if its not". You slowly opened the latter.

(Nickname),

If you're reading this I take it I died at the hands of one of the things that plagues your life. On the upside I didn't die some crazy old bat rambling to some nurse. I want you to know that even under these circumstances I'm so happy you came back, and even now I wouldn't have had it any other way, I truly hope you will understand that. I have one simple thing to ask of you. Instead of doing something stupid, go to him. I know you love him, I've seen both the devastation of losing him, and the joy of him returning in your eyes. Let me tell you sis, something like that doesn't happen twice, I'm with jason again and it's exactly where I want to be. And instead of you forfeiting your life, go to him and find your solace. I want this for you more then anything. So do me a solid and make my wish come true. I'll be watching over you, and someday you'll come home to me. 

I love you always,  
Casey

It was like your lungs collapsed. You couldn't breath. Cas. Angels. Sam had told you they were real. Maybe it wasn't a stretch. You didn't know what to do. You were so set on this. 

"Casey I need a sign, I need proof, I need you"........you whispered.

You were staring at the bottom of your glass. The jukebox started blaring louder than it originally had been, a familiar melody.

"This isn't the song I picked! Peice of shit!" Some gruff looking biker shouted. 

Then the chorus played. 

 

She's searching through the stations  
For an unfamiliar song  
And she's thinking 'bout the places  
That she knows she still belongs  
She smiles the secret smile  
That's sure she knows exactly how  
To carry on

So run baby run baby run baby run  
Baby run

You recognized the song instantly. You fiddled with your keys when something caught your eye, a keychain "there's no place like home KANSAS." Dean. You smiled. Tears streaming down your face.

"Ok ok I'm going" you laughed. Scooping up your papers you threw a fifty on the bar and ran for your car. 

You slid in the drivers seat and fired the engine to life, threw her in reverse, and when you reached the road you gunned it. For the first time in a long time you felt happy, you were racing to a home, to dean. 

Cas looked up from the bench outside the bar as you drove off, "go fix our boy."


	8. Chapter 8

You raced up the driveway to the bunker. When it finally came into view you turned the car off, grabbing your keys you sprinted for the door. When you opened it you raced down the stairs to find sam, sitting at the table looking rather disheveled. 

"Sam?"

"(Y/n)! Dean told me...I thought you were gone...I found you note." 

You raced over throwing your arms around him.

"I'm so sorry sam, but i pulled through. I'm here." 

"What changed your mind?" 

"You guys. Her....sort of. It's a long story, where's dean?"

"In his room."

You were already running down the hall "we'll talk later sammy"...

You came to a halt in front of deans door, knocking profusely. 

"Damn it sam I don't wan-" when he opened the door and saw you, he froze. 

You quickly closed the distance between you wrapping your arms around his neck. 

He quickly embraced you. 

"I thought you said it would never work." 

You pulled your head back, looking him in the eyes. 

"It may not, I don't know what'll happen tomorrow, but I'm sick of worrying about the future when we have tonight. I'm sick of worrying about getting hurt, because no matter what happens someone will get hurt. We risk so much for things out of our control, why not risk a little for happiness?" 

He grinned pulling you in for a kiss. When his lips crashed into yours, you melted. The only thing holding you up was him. He pulled you inside shutting the door behind you, never breaking the kiss. When you finally stopped you were left breathless looking up at him. 

"What changed your mind?"

"There's no place like home" you grinned. "And you and sam are my home."

"Best $5.99 I ever spent" he said through a smile.

You tip-toed up and kissed him running your hand through his hair. The taste of his kiss making you realize you were starving, like you had been held away from him and finally broken free, he consumed you to the core. 

"I need you dean" you cooed.

He grabbed you behind your thighs lifting you up to straddle his waist. 

" I need you too." 

Moments later you were naked on the bed. Dean on top of you, exploring your body like a map with his kisses, and he was getting lost on purpose. You could feel his hardness between your legs rubbing against your wet core. He slid his cock inside you. You shuddered. The sensation was powerful...poignant...as sharp as a knife. He remains still giving you time to adjust, kissing on your neck, dancing on the edge of desire, relishing it wanting it to end in crashing, delicious pleasure and wanting that moment to last for eternity. You squeezed him with your vaginal muscles, making him wince and groan in pleasure. He bit his bottom lip as he began fucking you with long, forceful strokes. He had drug you to the dark side and showed you what your body was made for with every crashing stroke, pushing your legs back to drive into you even deeper, he had to kiss you to to silence your moans. 

" I swear I'm not stopping until your legs are shaking and the neighbors know my name." 

You laughed pulling him to your lips and then rolling you both over, taking back the reins. 

You started rocking your hips, grinding against him, watching his reaction as you did. When you found his sweet spot, you picked up the pace. He groaned grabbing your hips pulling himself deeper each time until the building heat searing inside you overwhelms your body completely. Dean quickly flipped you back over driving into you harder and faster than before, driving you completely over the edge. You clenched your muscles around him as hard as you could, until he buried himself to the hilt, your tight sheath locked around him, finding his release. He fell to his side pulling you to his sweaty chest, claiming you as his, never separating. You both laid there momentarily consumed by euphoria. 

He brushed your hair out of your face buching it at the back of your neck and pulling your head back for a kiss. You fell asleep in his arms, your head on his chest breathing his scent. He was your solace, your one safe place. And whatever tomorrow brought, well you'd face it together. You may not always be together, but you knew it would always be him, you would always come back to him.


End file.
